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it's not a beautiful day anymore.
Thursday, June 23, 2011 @ 1:36 AM
Weather had became so worst recently. Same as my emotion, falling down to the deep end. I had tried to settle those problems these few days. Just not really in good mood.
My dream had came true finally. But I just woke up, in such a sudden way. I had realized it was never a good dream. More or less I'm just a biggest loser in relationship. No matter in which part, I'm still fail to do it right. The road was too difficult for me to walk alone. What did they always said?? God always be there. What am I thinking?? God always beside me. NO ANYMORE!!! I started to blame a lot these few days. People around me suddenly becoming an audience and started to enjoy the funny joke ever. God had lead me to a died end. This is not an ending that i wanted. I thought He always said when I'm ready, He will just granted me everything. But why I just cannot see any of His mercy? Where is His grace? Izit He was just too busy, left out His precious daughter's little prayer?
I had heard enough this few days. And i thought i can just put it down as nothing happen before. But it seem like hard to do it comparing to just said it out.
SMILE, the only mask that suitable for me currently.
CRY, the only action that suitable for me too. NON-STOP CRYING ~
A similar life situation, a familiar song's lyric will let me cry badly in silent. I hate it when Tee Lin is right. I hate it when I just continue digging hole and jump into it. I hate it when Guan Xiong said it was all because of my choice. It never goes right when I'm just cannot grow up.
Just noticed that the scenery was repeating. I had really tiring of waiting. But I just cannot stop waiting. Sigh.
When is my beautiful day?? The day when we are really grow up. Soon or later i just need to accept the truth. The day I hope to come soon.
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*Aloha*
welcome to my lil dream world!
You may disagree of what I said, but I will defend untill death of my right to say it.
The name was Michelle.
I'm twenty and young.
Big creations and inspirations are in my mind. :D
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
don judge me by cover
