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Crappy post
Sunday, October 23, 2011 @ 1:58 AM
Every people seem like not in the blogging mood anymore. She closed her blog, while she telus deactivated her blog. I'm closing my blog too. She stop blogging for some times while she was busy her stuffs till no time to update her blog. What is going on to our friendship. Friendship is too fragile to be hurt.
While I'm concerning of my friendship problem. He was appeared with his word. Am I really hurt him?? I had no idea. But his word do woke me up. I never change. I do no change at all. No matter when is the time or who is the particular person, I never change. I kept repeating the same story line, or maybe I do added in some new scenes or characters lur. But in the end I'm still repeated the same words, to different people. Suddenly I just felt weak. This is why I decided to close my blog. Ermmmmm. Suppose is changing my password too. I'm trying to keep a place for me privately. But still I did not do it. I knew he wont allow. Is okie actually. I still had my own diary, written diary. Hahahahahahahahaha. That is not the main point la. The main point is I really could not hurt him, even for 1 second. Although he may not know what I had done for him, but at least is a way to let me feel better. I wished to do it to cover my sins to him.
Actually at this moment I wish to heard your sound. I wish I could cry in your arm. I wish you could just hug me tight and telling me that is okie. No matter what had happen, you will still believe me and buy me an ice cream to let me feel better. Duhhh. I think I gonna been crazy. Is in middle of midnight. Too much crappy words are not good for me. Hehehehehehehehe. Just ignore me. Give me 1 week time barh. Do not worry or down or sad la ya. ^____________________________^
Just wondering am I sad now or u sad ??
raining inside and outside
Monday, October 17, 2011 @ 9:03 PM
What to say ?? I knew this day gonna come. Although I tried to prevent it, tried my best to keep a good image in front of his parent, at least i tried la. But it seems like no use, when his mother said something like that, my heartache. How possible I can change her mind if she hated me. I'm the reason for her son's result drop. I'm the reason for her son not to go to work. I'm the reason for her son wasted so many money and time on just talking on phone. Is my fault !!
She was right. She reminded me that I not suppose to continue like this. I must stop this kind of relationship. I'm sorry to say that, I knew he will feel sad when he see this. But I had no choice. I needed to respect his parent. Stand in his parent point of view, I knew they are just caring for him. They hope their child could get a good results and get a good work in future time. Because of me, my appearance had spoiled their plan.
Stop writing my blog for about 10 minutes since Mr Qing Xing called me on phone. To my surprised he knew I'm sad just listening to my voice. Yes, I admitted I'm really sad. But who could share this sadness with me?? Nobody shall know this secret. Some more I'm the one who started this issue, nobody would accept this crap that I had fallen to him in secretly. This world is cruel and realistic. Nobody would really understand my feeling now.
So what is my plan?? I planned to ......
The sky is pouring tears now. Just like my feeling, felt so bad. This decision is hard, but I will do it. No matter how his thought, the plan shall run forever.
I'm sorry.
To the special one,
Thankew for accompanied me for 101 days. It really had enough. I appreciated it so much but I guessed I wont get any chance to continue walk the road of life with you anymore. Sorry for my selfishness. Promise me that you wont sad, just forget about me and live you life. Promise me continue your study well. Promise me that please stay on devotion although I cannot remind you anymore. Promise me to live better without me.
I'm really okie d la. You no need purposely send me message or call me on phone. Smiles alway ya. Take care.
May God continue bless on him and his family.
just a joke
Thursday, October 6, 2011 @ 12:58 PM
When she told me that, I really believed it. And my heartache. I just cannot accept it. My tears cant even control. I said I'm okie to her and I think she knew I'm not okie. Then to my surprise she said is just a joke. What!!! I really cannot believe it!!! Izit just a joke ?? Or maybe she just wanted me to feel better ?? I'm not sure about it.
They said prayer is the best wireless connection. But somehow I just cant felt it.
I'm tired.
touching moment
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 @ 10:08 PM
Suddenly I had this thought. I wanted to jot down this moment. The moment that made me touched, secured and safe. I used to think that the secure feeling cannot given by him, but when the time he said he hope to protect me forever as his first promise to me, I really felt surprise. I'm quite happy actually since he was saying that instead of telling me that he will love me forever. Hahahahahahaha.
Thank you seriously for appreciate me.
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*Aloha*
welcome to my lil dream world!
You may disagree of what I said, but I will defend untill death of my right to say it.
The name was Michelle.
I'm twenty and young.
Big creations and inspirations are in my mind. :D
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
don judge me by cover